Today I want to develop that idea further and make a strong point that to achieve this result requires a fundamental shift to becoming a protagonist rather than a victim in your life story.
Your mission is to act on life rather than life acting on you.
No great life was ever built on a platform of excuses.
Victim mentality leaves you
- Take responsibility
- Rely less on external praise/approval
So why the do so many people we know (often including ourselves) get stuck in a victim mentality?
Mainly because there are some benefits… such as:
- Attention and validation. You can always get good feelings from other people as they are concerned about you and try to help you out.
- You don’t have to take risks. When you feel like a victim you tend to not take action and then you don’t have to risk for example rejection or failure.
- Don’t have to take the sometimes heavy responsibility. Taking responsibility for your own life can be hard work, you have to make difficult decisions and it is just heavy sometimes. In the short term it can feel like the easier choice to not take personal responsibility.
- It makes you feel right. When you feel like the victim and like everyone else is wrong and you are right – then that can lead to pleasurable feelings.
In order to break out of a victim mentality you have to give up the benefits above. You might also experience a sort of emptiness within when you let go of victim thinking.
What does a Hero vs a Victim Mindset look like?
- A victim asks how long it will take to feel good — a hero decides to feel good even if things are not so great.
- A victim grinds to a halt — a hero keeps putting one foot in front of the other.
- A victim wallows in self-pity — a hero comforts others.
- A victim is jealous of someone else’s success — a hero is inspired by it.
- A victim focuses on the pain of loss — a hero cherishes remembered joy.
- A victim seeks retribution — a hero seeks redemption.
- And most of all, a victim argues with life — a hero embraces it.
How to stop being a victim:
- Stop blaming others
- Be compassionate to yourself
- Practice gratitude
- Resist self-sabotage
- Perform acts of kindness to others
- Forgive and let go
- Build self-confidence
- Find the source of your learned helplessness
- Shift your mentality from that of victim to hero
If you are ready to BE YOUR OWN HERO why not join our latest 8-Week Challenge and use the tools we offer you to build your self-reliance and become self-sufficient.