Sleeks. There is one thing you can certainly count on. You are going to experience failure in your life. It is guaranteed. You will go through tough times. And you know what? That is great. Embrace it. The thing that sets winners apart is how you deal with it and what you do with it.
Most of everything I know has come from failure. In business, in relationships and in health. Failure has powerfully shown me what I don’t need in my life.
It’s a beautiful thing. It can also be a horrific destructive thing if you let it.
Life is about learning from mistakes, adapting and seeking continual improvement.
When you mess up there are two different experiences you can chose.
You can throw in the towel, quit, moan and be a victim feel like the world has wronged you.
You can take a deep breath, put the failure into context and find a way to make it into a positive experience. That’s what winners do.
Here are a few things I personally do to achieve that:
Try manage your expectations. If you understand that you may fail sometimes then it’s easier to accept and deal with at the time.
Happiness = Reality divided by expectations
Most times we blow the impact of these “mistakes” way out of proportion in our minds. Things seem far worse then they are. Us humans can be very dramatic. Our minds make up wonderful stories. The worst is generally not that bad.
In a time of crisis I always ask myself “is anyone going to die?” If nobody is going to die I ask “what is the worst thing that can happen?”
Most times it’s not so bad.
It also helps to understand that you are never going to be perfect. Allow yourself some room to mess up every now and then. Strive for progress not perfection.
The Japanese concept of Kaizen is very useful here. The idea is continual improvement always trying to get closer to the right path and diverging from it less and less.
Something that is my secret to success … You need to believe in your goals and fully commit to them. This gives you the security to fail.
For example. I know in my heart and head that I’m dedicated to pursue a lifetime of health. So when I mess up I do not freak out. I feel safe in knowing I’m committed to the long term objective. Many people fear they will lose their way and not get back to the path. That is because they are not fully committed to their goal. When you are committed there is no giving up!
When giving up is not an option you will be set free. No matter how badly off path you go at least you know that you are never giving up.
That way you cannot fail in the long term.
What about when life just hits you with bad luck and set backs? Things that are many times out of your control? The same strategy applies.
Humans are resilient. We are survivors. We are fighters. It is out instinct. Trust it.
It may take longer than you hoped for things to come right but the only way you can ever fail is to give up.
Look for new solutions, try new things. Keep pushing.
Discuss and share your failure with others. You do not need to suffer in silence. But rather then complaining or moaning use your support to find solutions. Acknowledge that failure is not shameful. It is normal.
Sometimes failure is just a way of telling us we need to change our path a little to get to our destination.