Why do we brush off the compliments we receive with a smile or a half-hearted thanks, but then give enormous power to the single negative comment we might receive and let them tear away at us?
If someone criticizes me I think about that for days. If someone praises me I may not think about that for a minute after. It’s so ridiculous!
Us human beings are funny creatures. We do it all the time.
I have set myself a personal goal to give massive weight to the good in my life and silence the bad. I would invite you to do the same.
I was brought up in a home with a typical Jewish mother who wanted me to be the best at everything I did. When I got 85% the question was always “what happened to the other 15%?” As a result, success in my life has always been viewed as an expectation and not an achievement.
So now even I am not easily able to enjoy a compliment or success. I cannot easily rejoice in my achievements. When people congratulate me I smile, say thanks and it washes right over me. I don’t expect to be congratulated because I’ve been brought up to always expect the best from myself and sometimes it’s easy to set the bar too high and not feel deserving of compliments.
In some ways I am grateful that I have this drive but I hate the fact that I cannot fully embrace my success and acknowledge myself.
I also focused on this topic today because I have seen incidents in the Sleekgeek Community where someone will post an achievement and receive a stream of congratulations. Then one negative person comes along and makes an unfavourable comment. All of a sudden the person wants to leave the group and views the platform as non-supportive.
This makes no sense.
It saddens me to observe these scenarios because I want everyone to feel great every time they post on Sleekgeek. I don’t want one “troll” to ruin it for everyone – because for starters that person’s behavior goes against the Sleekgeek Code.
Can you imagine the sheer positive power and awesomeness you would have in your life if you could give that amplification to all the positive comments and drown out that lone negative voice?
How different and amazing would your experience of life be if you could train yourself to do this?
Why does the negative bother us?
I think often that one negative comment penetrates our own insecurities and may highlight the negative things we may believe to be true of ourselves. I don’t think that is always the case though. I also think that everyone wants to be loved and liked and someone attacking you quite simply hurts one’s feelings.
I’ve said it many times before, words are incredibly powerful and the way you say things and think things affects the way you live your life, so let’s all do our best to amplify the positive – say good things to people, say good things to yourself, appreciate and take note of compliments – write them down if you have to.
I am going to try the same and I challenge you to give increased emphasis to the positive remarks and show yourself enough love to embrace and be proud of what you achieve.
Try doing the following things:
- Make a note of when someone sends you a positive message. Save it. Keep a folder. Take screenshots. Print it out. Do whatever you need to do to keep a store of compliments you can easily reference when you need to.
- When you are feeling low go and read these messages to remind yourself how awesome you are.
- When someone makes a negative remark ask yourself who they are and what their motive is? Most times you will realize they are not important in your life and nor is their opinion.
- Ask yourself why it has upset you? Is there something you can fix?
- If you cannot snap out of it chat to or spend some time with one of the positive people in your life who makes you feel good.
- My golden rule – IGNORE ALL IDIOTS
I need to learn to take my own advice. 🙂
I want to hear from you how it goes. We’re all in this together and it’s a journey for all of us. We will all get there.
Be kind to yourself Sleeks.